Quality Feedback

A few days back, I got a chance to watch a number of High School basketball games in my area.  As always, I have great difficulty watching a basketball game for entertainment.  No matter what the level, I am always trying to identify what teams are trying to do and how they are trying to get there.  It is like trying to put a puzzle together without knowing what the big picture is (try it for real, it will redefine the way you think I guarantee it!).  I've seen some great things over the games I saw.  However, I saw one area that very much needs to be addressed;  Quality feedback during game play.

Teaching during game play is a tricky thing to do for coaches.  I have been on all three sides of this part of the game (player, Head Coach and Assistant Coach).  As a player, I constantly craved the feedback even if it meant that I was going to get hit in the face by a flying piece of gum (actually happened....don't think I missed a box out since).  As a HC, I've struggled early in my career to find the right time for the feedback as my primary focus was to coach to win the game.  As an Assistant coach, it was always a question of "how much can I say and when can I say it".  However tricky, it is absolutely essential for maximizing the rate of player development.  Game play feedback is the most powerful moment for a player to learn.  Why is that?  Well, because unlike practices, the player will just about get an immediate opportunity to go and try to do what the coach wants him to do against an opponent that does not know what that thing is.  In practices, everyone hears what the coach wants and so therefore, everyone tries to "cheat" the play or tactic.  Here are my thoughts on how to make this "tricky" essential, less "tricky".
Call it what you want: teachable moment, verbal cues, feedback, talk or whatever.  Bottom line is it needs to happen and it needs to be a part of how the team runs.  The Head Coach is the primary person responsible for player development.  If the player improves, so will the team.  Tactics can only do so much with respect to improving a team.  Your players need to understand inside and out those tactics and their nuances.  So to get there, all hands need to be on deck.  For the Head Coach, I would recommend that you have clearly identified standards toward this topic.  Everyone knows how far they can go.  That includes players when they talk to each other.  But more importantly, the Assistant Coaches.  The Assistant Coach can not ever be the loudest voice out there.  But, if done well, he or she can be invaluable with respect to key aspects of the game.  This is why I absolutely need them to chart something during the game.  Whatever it is needs to be something that you are culturally trying to build in your program (is it clean offense, strong transition play, defensive stops, etc).  That coach needs to have something that the HC does not have.  Far too many times, I see Assistant Coaches sitting benches charting nothing at all.  That bothers me deeply.  When you have all coaches looking at the game, then you are not fully taking advantage of a very important part of player development.   
An HC during game play needs to try, as much as they can, to individually pull players aside and give them quick feedback (10-15 seconds worth of information).  Then get in the huddle and address the team.  A real good HC will instruct an AC about what was said during that one on one, so that the AC can do the follow up part.  Following up is a huge part of feedback.  If there is no follow-up, the player will conclude that the information given was not all that important.  Another great time for the HC to follow up is post game (when everyone is leaving the dressing room) or at the following day's practice.
As for the AC, the charting of whatever information needs to be shared regularly.  Again, the players need to know that what you are looking for is important.  Also, during game play, the AC needs to constantly be pacing the bench and talking to individuals.  Things such as: "next time when you are out there, try to avoid what player X is doing" or as they come out of the game "hey player Y, did you notice that opponent player A really struggles with screens?  Set more for your teammate next time you get out there".  Yes the AC should be communicating to the HC about certain things happening in game play but the focus should be on whatever he or she is charting for the team.  NOTHING annoys a HC more than obvious information "we are not finishing at the rim" or "they are scoring at will on us" or "player X sucks".  Instead, hit the HC with information like "hey based on my charts here, we are really not doing a good job with insert aspect here".  That way, the HC has good stuff to share that is data driven with his players.
Everyone needs to constantly be thinking player development if we truly want to see basketball improve.  Game play player development via constant feedback is essential in this process.

Sweat Academy Year #2

Year #2 of Sweat Academy

Yes this has taken me some time to do but at least I got to it. 

This Training Season has been a very educational one for me that's for sure!  The most "slam in the face" part of my education was working with female high level basketball players for the first time in my 20 year career.  At first, I needed some advice and the Saint Thomas Head Coach of the women's team (which has two players on the training team) accommodated me with much of it.  Then I hit the journals and articles on working with female athletes.  Because of that work, I truly believe that I made significant strides in my coaching for skill development not only for our female clients, but also for our males. Here's the biggest thing I learned:

1- When working on skill training, focus low volume and high intensity.

So this came from advice given to me that when it comes to coaching females, you need to allow them to have some "social downtime".  I personally hate downtime during practice but skills training is not your regular basketball practice.  That combined with an article I read on female golfers, gave me what I needed in order to allow myself to grow more patient with the necessity of downtime.  In golf, when players hit their shot, the level of concentration is extremely high for about 30 seconds.  Then they walk to their ball which will take anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes (if you are like me looking for the ball in the woods).  That 30 seconds becomes the focus of golf coaches.  I have found great improvement in my players when the focus has been maximum effort for a short period of time and in between sets, allow the players to "unplug".

2- Must have a safe training environment

This does not mean making sure that the equipment being used is safe and the floor being clean although it is part of it.  But mostly, this means that the girls need to feel like it is ok to look bad and make mistakes.  Especially when they are training with male players which was the case this past summer (but not going to be the case next summer- more on that to come).  Again, for me I have always been about the type of mistake being made.  One kind will result in a behavior of mine, and another will result in total freak-out.  If a player is trying to execute a skill or a play and physically can not get it done.  Those mistakes are fine.  Then I need to address that weakness on a physiological aspect.  If a player tries to execute a play against a superior athlete and can not,  that is also ok unless the player was instructed to do something else to beat that superior athlete.  Which leads me to the mistake that drives me nuts.  The "brain dead" mistake.  The lack of awareness mistake.  I can not allow my players to get away with not being focused for the task at hand.  BUT, when it comes to skill training, mental mistakes will happen ALL THE TIME.  Why?  Because we are trying to get our players to train outside their comfort zone.  To train outside your comfort zone, you need to have a high level of concentration because the comfort zone factor always looks to kick in.  When giving feedback to the players as they are trying to stay out of their comfort zone, the coaching staff needs to look for the comfort zone habits.  When that happens, the player is making a mental mistake and that is totally part of skill training (so I must chill out when addressing the mistake). 

This year, we went three times per week.  We combined girls with the guys and for the most part, I think everyone was ok with that.  However, when it came to Level 5 training (application of new skill in 5 on 5 live game play), I think this is where our clients were not overall happy and I do not blame them one bit.  To be honest, I did not like it as well because it did not allow the coaching staff to properly assess if the player was at Level 4 (break down live game play 3 on 3, 4 on 4) or Level 5.  If you have a male player making a play against a female player, the physical difference between the two athletes will come into play.  The difference is too great and I say that with no disrespect.  Because we have had more female clients than expected (and we predict that even more will join next summer), we are going to divide the two groups next summer- more on that to come.

My disappointment for the summer was not on the players at all.  It was on their respective programs.  With the exception of Fred Connors of Saint Thomas University, none of the coaches consistently touched base with us about the progress of their player.  We do an ok job of reaching out every-now-and-again but really, at the end of the day, we would love for them to be more interested in what is going on.  Yes we reach out and ask them what three areas would they like their player to improve.  Then we send them the plan we come up with and post occasional videos on Youtube but why aren't they initiating?  I do not get that.  If I were in their shoes and I knew they were getting high quality training on things I need them to get better on, I would be talking to that coaching team all the time.  At least once a week.  I really hope this improves for Year #3.  I will make a point of it when I do reach out in the initial stages.

Things we are looking to improve \ add next year:

1- We plan to put together a Juvenile team (U17) for Basketball New Brunswick Age Class Tier 1 tournament again this year.  This time though, we hope that the interest level will be higher than last year.  We are only taking Grade 12 players seeking an opportunity to practice with the best players of the area while getting one last good luck to potential CIS \CCAA coaches attending this tournament for scouting \ recruiting.

2- We plan to go 4 times per week.  Two on court sessions for the male and two for the female.  However, males can attend female sessions if they are to work on conditioning or agility training.  Females are also invited to come to male sessions in order to do the same.

3- We plan to purchase the Vertimax http://www.vertimax.com/ to help us train our clients.

4- We have already purchased the 94fifty basketballs to help in testing skill http://shop.94fifty.com/

5- We will be purchasing a vertical testing bar to help us get a more accurate measure of Power

6- We have added one coach to our roster- Ryan Johnston of UNB and may be adding another if he decides to stay in Moncton.

7- We plan to have an AAU team put together and travel to the states to play high level competition

8- We plan to host clinics for high school aged players looking to experience the Sweat Academy approach to training for basketball.

So that is a snapshot of Year #2.  We continue to grow in popularity and we want even bigger and better things for the future.  All of it is to build a culture of excellence and high level performance for our elite level athletes.  We want to build World Class athletes!!

"If you are going to say it, be ready to define it"- Roy Rana

Inspired by a coaching clinic put forth by Basketball New Brunswick, I've come to realize that perhaps I should put on paper what I have had defined for a while now; CULTURE.

Roy Rana was the keynote speaker for this basketball clinic.  He challenged everyone (all coaches) to define certain words that we use all the time.  These words were: Elite, High Level Performance and Challenge the shot.  His point was that he hears coaches use these terms all the time but explaining what they mean is often times neglected.  I pride myself on being a "why" coach.  When Coach Rana mentioned that, it made me realize that I did not do a good enough job of making sure all my players understand what exactly a term means for me.  For now though, I will limit myself to culture.

Culture is how you live your days with your team.  What is acceptable, tolerated, discouraged or a cardinal sin.  Norms and values would fall into this.  I am a very vocal coach.  For the two hours of our practices, I will not shut up.  Key words and phrases (another blog for another day perhaps) are always being directed to my players.  I am not a big fan of using the whistle simply because I want my players to be sharp with their listening skills.  So there you are, #1- Listen

1- All players must listen at all times.  The game is so dynamic and fast today.  Things change rapidly.  Players need to change quickly as well.  They miss a "memo", that is a turnover.  In practice, I get all my players to repeat the last part of my instructions.  Other than it reinforcing my point on listening, it also sounds pretty good as a group of 12 yells out at the same time what I just finished saying.

2- Be accountable to one-another.  A coach can only do so much when it comes to building a high performing quality team (high performing means going hard every day).  If the players do not buy-in, then it will never happen as quickly as it should.  When players police themselves to honour the norms and values of the team, that is when true chemistry (chemistry means every player knows their role and fully accepts it) happens.  This accountability will eventually trickle down to practice and game play.  That is when I know I have a special group.  A championship group!

3- What is absolutely not acceptable- Values
This one depends on what level I am coaching.  High School will differ from university aged players and university aged players will differ from the pro ranks.  So I will stick to the basketball side of things which is consistent no matter what level I am involved with at the time. Although when it comes to Values, there is much more involved than just basketball. 

In practice, if we have a drill where there is no defense and a turnover happens, that is unacceptable.  We are running a conditioning drills and the outside lane is not wide enough, that is not good.  In shooting drills, not cutting hard or missing bad (if the shot is missed and it is not a center front or center back miss, that is a bad miss) is unacceptable.  A lose ball on the floor (or a 50-50 ball) and nobody dives to try to get it.  I will lose my mind!  Missing a screen or not waiting for the screen, I will lose my mind!  Missing a box-out, I will lose my mind.  Shying away from taking a charge, I will lose my mind!  Not hustling over to aid a teammate off the floor when he is down, I will voice my disapproval.  After a score in a game or practice, if the player that has scored does not acknowledge his teammate for the pass (or screen or whatever), I will lose my mind!  A simple point to the guy is all that is needed there.  If someone makes a "momentum shift play" (those are diving on the floor for a lose ball, taking a charge, hitting a three or getting a big dunk) and the entire team on the bench does not erupt in cheer, I will be very unimpressed.

4- How do we go about our business- Norms

No matter the level, it is all about respecting the game.  Absolutely no individual is larger than the game.  Professionalism is the key word (that means approaching any situation with one goal in mind, to do the job as best you can).  Be on time and ready to go.  That means on time is at least 30 minutes before practice and at least an hour before games.  That time is to be used for getting ready for practice.  Tape jobs are done, general body preparation done (use the hallways), practice jersey on and tucked in, and skill work put in.  When practice starts, we are in our first full court team drill.  We are not waiting for anyone.  At half-time of games, as soon as I come in the room to debrief, everything gets quiet immediately.  After the game, the jerseys and sneakers stay on.  Nothing comes off until I am done addressing the team on what went well, what did not go so well and what we will be working on at next practice.  On away trips, the game uniforms are on a hanger and not thrown in the player's gear bag.  On video session days, bring water with you and a small snack.  But most importantly, bring your notebook!

5- Be gracious (appreciate what others are doing for you to be able to do what you do)
My players need to give credit where it is due whenever it is appropriate.  There's this idea out there that sport is all about bullying and the strongest will survive.  To an extent, it is true.  I most certainly have a very aggressive approach to coaching.  However, there is a time (mostly once practice and games are done) that we can allow ourselves to be a bit more human.  I always encourage my players to make an effort to reach out.  High School players reach out to their teachers or tournament organizers for example.  University guys to get involved on their campus outside the gym area (and not exclusively at the campus pub).  To thank minor officials for their efforts.  Pros get involved with their community.  Give back to not-for-profit organizations that rely heavily on endorsements.  Go up to a referee and...........................well..................just keep walking! 

For me and what I try to do as a Head Coach, it is really all about building that culture with my teams.  Sometimes it happens quickly.  Sometimes not so much.  But one thing is for sure, it will happen and when it does, winning follows regularly.

Agree or disagree, that is fine.  Feel free to share your thoughts on team culture.

Over the weekend- High School Basketball Games

This past week and weekend, I was able to take in a few basketball games from our local high schools as well as some outside teams (Ontario and Nova Scotia).  I noticed a few things that really stood out to me during these games and thought this blog would be a good way to put them out there and see what happens.

Before I get going, Moncton High School lead by Coach Andrew Macpherson won the tournament.  So a congratulations should go out to his staff and team.  Job well done.

Now, on to the observations (gathered from 6 games watched).

1-  Ontario really really really need to start playing with a shot clock.  I've seen two games from this team and they looked rushed and uncomfortable the entire time.  I saw very poor game management in terms of time and score.  Like it or not, player development (and coach development) is directly impacted by the rules the game is playing with.  Nova Scotia teams and New Brunswick teams looked much better in their flow and game management.  Maybe it was just this one team (from Ontario) but it really stood out to me nonetheless.  Could you imagine if a demographic of 12.2 million would have a shot clock included in their games how much better their already talented talent would be?

2-  Coaches need to do a better job of giving feedback to their players.  "Good job, what are you doing, well done and the frown" are very overused and do very little for improving a player's performance.  Coaches should try to give feedback such as: "Good job finding the body, or your keep missing your screens on insert play here, or well done anticipating"  Be more specific.

3-  Now, coaches that did do a good job of being more specific were good at doing it in a positive fashion.  But when it came time to address bad play, I did not see one coach get it right (which doesn't mean it didn't happen...I'm just saying I didn't see it or hear it).  The best example of what I am trying to say is Player X has the ball and is pushing it up the floor.  Player Y is running his lane (not wide enough) in front of Player X.  Player X tries to head-man the ball to him and it goes out of bounds.  Coach of Player X and Y gets on Player X's case about the pass as he should.  But he did it wrong.  Coach simply said: "what are you doing passing it there" and said nothing to Player Y for not running his lane wide enough.  So what happened after?  That was the end of that team's transition game.  Player X was the point guard and didn't throw another head-man pass again the rest of the game (and this team was quick).  Instead, this is what should have happened: "Player X!  If Player Y is not wide on his lane run, he doesn't get the ball.  Player Y! run wide!"  The transition game continues and the players become more aware of what needs to be done for them to keep taking advantage of their strength (although in January, telling players to run lanes wide should not be necessary...it should be an automatic...but I digress).

I could keep writing for three days on what I saw but I'll stick with these three things as they were what really stood out for me.

We all have a "Reset Button"

Strong Leaders understand the "Reset Button"

When it comes to Leadership, Mike Mackay of Canada Basketball once told me there are three things an individual needs to be able to do in order to lead:

1- Lead Yourself
2- Know when to follow
3- When you are not leading, give energy to those who are

When I reflect on those rules, I can't help to think about how deep they are.  Let me explain.

1- Lead Yourself

Live your life honorably.  Being perfect is not what I am saying here.  What I am saying is when the mistakes come, be resilient about them.  Own the mistake first of all, see how to never repeat them and move on.  Far too many people out there blame others or blame the situation and cannot seem to let it go.  Although in most cases a person's success depends on the endorsement of others, at the end of the day it is all about how you have set yourself up to be successful.  Control what you can and live in the moment.  When things do not go the way you want, understand it, then hit the reset button and move on.

2- Know when to follow

How can an individual know what good leadership is if they have never followed before?  Even in circumstances where the leader is not very good, you can still learn.  Every day is a new day filled with new challenges and choices.  That alone is a reset button.  Pay attention to the people around you.  Pay attention to what they do and try to figure out why they are doing it.

3- When you are not leading, give energy to those who are

Often times, leaders feel like they are on an island.  What I mean by that is, they feel like nobody cares about them or the things they need to get done on a daily basis.  I very often hear people talk negatively about their leader and very seldom hear them speak highly of him or her.  Why is that?  I am not saying brown nose, but I am saying support.  If you don't agree with something that is going on, then have that one on one with the individual.  But every chance you get, support him or her.  By doing this, you help that individual hit their personal reset button.

So as you can see, I don't mention anywhere that to be a good leader, you need to have a people who follow you.  I think if the three rules are well executed on a daily basis, having followers will happen on its own.  Now having said that, I think one more rule needs to be included:

4- Know your stuff! 

If you do live by the first three rules and you do get that group of individuals migrate to you because of it, the experience will be short lived if you do not know the insides and outs of whatever it is your should know.  By instinct, people will not stay long with someone they perceive as a fake.  By showing the people you are leading how much you know about your domain, you reset their button as it restores faith in what you are doing.

My two cents on the topic of life's reset buttons :)

Sweat Academy Year #1

Just about 3 or 4 years ago, I had the thought of trying to offer something to our higher level basketball players with respect to their development outside their season.  But because of my busy summer schedule, it never seemed to be the right time to put my thoughts into action.  Michael Macdougall also wanted to do something for that age group but we couldn't have the right timing for it.  In addition, I felt that I needed to study up a little more toward training higher level athletes and to continue to build on my techniques to breakdown skill set in order to build it up even stronger. It is not that I didn't think I could do it, it is more a detail thing.  My one year with the Moncton Miracles of the National Basketball League of Canada as an assistant coach has allowed me to grow tremendously.  Thanks to Coach Bell, Coach Evans, Coach Chapman and Coach Njoku, I was able to bounce ideas off them and try some things out with our players on a daily basis for 5 months.

So this year, with the help of Michael Macdougall and Andre Doucet we went for it.  Mike and Andre believe in development as much as I do when it comes to basketball skill.  No system, no offense or no defensive scheme can beat TALENT.  Training is the road to talent.  But one cannot be random about the training.  Training for the higher levels needs to be very specific.  The higher level players can shoot the ball, handle the ball and pass the ball.  BUT, there is a part of their game that for whatever the reason, they don't shoot it well, or they don't handle it well or they don't pass it well.  This is the specificity to their training that is required. Most players do not do this.  Not because they do not want to.  But rather, they are comfortable being who they are or they are unaware that they need to be more specific with their training.  Anything different makes them feel vulnerable.  Training outside one's comfort zone is not something you are born to do.  It is something you must learn to do.  That's where coaching kicks in for these guys.

Ok, so enough about that.  Sweat Academy operates within the Greater Moncton area.  In our first year, we have opened it up to the male side only.  First we sent out invitations to every player playing or wanting to play at the CIS \ CCAA level (so to be clear, our clientele was limited to grade 12 up to 5th year post graduate).  We sent out some invitations to players outside the area but that did not work out as well as we were hoping.  However, with respect to the local players, we had 7 players sign up.  One decided to commit to something else half way through our sessions so we ended up with 6.  The positive in that is we only have 6 players recruited or currently playing at that level.  So we hit 100% of our potential client list.  I think it's pathetic that the largest demographic in New Brunswick can only produce 4 recruited players but that will be a topic for another day.  I should mention that we had a player from the Fredericton area come join us for two weeks when we were at the Coliseum training out of there (our host facility is the old Kay Arena in Lewisville- now call the Crossman Community Center).  Once the invited players informed us they wanted in, we then got in touch with their university \ college coach and asked for a priority list for their off season development.  Baker of UNB, Morrison of Holland College, Starratt of MTA, Plato of MSVU and Baker of Acadia all gave very specific detail for us to work from.  Then it was up to us to put a plan together for each of our players and execute it.  Generally, the sessions looked as such:

1- Give them a mental focus before starting the physical part of the session (2 minutes)

2- Warm-up (10 minutes)

3- Footwork, ball handling and shooting (10 to 15 minutes)

*Here we did do some teaching but really, it is all about review.  To work on good habits and make them stronger through repetition

4- Skill Development (30 to 40 minutes)

*This is where we put into action what each of our player's coach want them to get better at.  For instance, we had one coach tell us that he wanted his player better at breaking down his man on offense in order to get in the lane and find the open teammate.  He also wanted his player to be ready to shoot the three once he got the ball back and to be quicker laterally so that he can defend the ball better.  So when we put the plan to help this player get better, we didn't work on all of those things each and every session.  We worked on him one part at a time for 30 to 40 minutes.  More on that later.

5- Application of skill (15 to 20 minutes)

*Usually done through 3 on 3, 2 on 2 or 1 on 1 play.

6- Plyometric workout (30 minutes)

7- Cooldown, recover and discuss about mental focus

So that was the template for each of our sessions and I do not foresee myself making any adjustments to it.  We have no rest in between parts and we go go go.  If the player needs to grab some water, they do it on their own but get right back to training.  Same if they feel they need to eat.  Grab a bite and get back in the training.  After all, it's Sweat Academy and not At Your Leisure Academy :)

In a nutshell, I would say our first off-season session has been a success.  For our second year, we are already working toward involving some of our sponsors a bit more as well as add the female side of things.  Perhaps we will be planning a summer camp as well for JV \ Varsity players.  We are currently also trying to set up some coaching clinics for our local Minor Associations.  More equipment and coaches are also on our agenda for next off-season.

We will keep you posted.

 

It's the Parents!!!!

I cannot ignore this trend any further.  Far too many good, qualified and passionate people are stepping away from coaching (and teaching) and for the wrong reasons; THE PARENTS!  It is time for me to lash about this..

"It takes a Village to raise a Child"- Chinese Proverb

Although the above citation is a proverb,  a good friend of mine told me that line about ten years ago and it stayed with me ever since.  You see, I teach and coach for that exact reason.  NOBODY can raise a person on their own.  I certainly was not raised by a single person (even though my mother was on her own).  I had many people around me when I was growing up.  They are the reason why I got into coaching and why teaching as a profession made so much sense.  I needed to pay it forward.  Why is it that it seems the people whom understand this are the minority?  Accountability, responsibility, a strong understanding of right from wrong and resiliency are virtues our youths today struggle a great deal with.  How else is a person suppose to learn these essential virtues if said person is not left to figure it out \ deal with adversity on their own?  Why can't parents today understand that some things they can teach, and some other things they can't.  Someone else must do that job and when the time comes, to support the child in his or her efforts to solve their problem.  No no no, today...parents solve that problem.  And the child is handicapped in his or her development.

Let me give you a perfect example of a parent that did his job (but not at the start).  A few years back, I had a parent approach me to talk about my decision to suspend one of my players (my MVP and his son) for 4 consecutive games.  The player violated a team rule the last game of the prior season and I gave him a choice to serve the consequence at the start of the next season or have the consequence doubled if he ever repeats it again.  The player, the next season, decided that he had the entire summer to mature and that he would refrain from violating that team rule.  Our first game of the year, he violates it.  Boom, I give him 4 games to think about it.  Harsh...maybe.  A lesson to learn...most definitely.  So after 2 games of the suspension (we lose both games), the father approaches me and wants to tell me that my consequence is not reasonable.  My player (his son) did not approach me to have this discussion.  So problem #1 right there.  I sat there and listened to the parent as he tried to convince me that his son learned his lesson and that we are losing games because he is not playing.  I simply replied that his son did not learn his lesson because the lesson is not done yet.  He still had 2 games to go.  And that I had no problems losing games if it meant that my team was being built.  He then informed me that his son was thinking of quitting the team.  Without any hesitation at all, I replied to him that my teams are bigger than any one individual AND if he has a quitter for a son, that is his problem, not mine.  The parent should have punched me in the face.  Instead though, he got up and left.  That player did serve his suspension and ended being an absolute monster for us the rest of the year.  Today, he is a man and is coaching as well.  I am willing to bet a large amount of money that whole period in his life was massive in shaping him.  I did my job and the parent did his.  I presented a great deal of adversity and the parent (although initially was not serving or supporting his son) supported his son in dealing with the situation which in turn, made that individual stronger.  Today, if I do the exact same thing (and I would) I am thinking the punch in the face would be the result.  Parents are different today.  They can't seem to make that seperation (coaching \ teaching issues versus parenting issues).

I am the father of a 4 year old and my son is learning how to skate.  Not easy to do at that age (and not easy to watch either).  Now I am the furthest thing from perfect in the parenting world but I do know the difference between coaching and parenting.  But while I observe the 25ish adults hovering over their child from the team benches, I can't stop but shake my head.  Leave your kid alone!!!  You see, I'm watching from a distance in the restaurant with a nice cup coffee in my hands.  Once in a while, my son will look up and wave.  Of course, I wave back but I also immediately point to his coaches.  His coaches are in charge, not me.  Do I agree with everything they are doing to help him improve?  For the most part, I do.  The parts that I do not agree with, I talk with my son afterward (as we eat out routine post skate brunch) to see if what he is does not like fits with what I do not like.  To me, that is parenting.  If he does not bring it up, then I certainly do not as well.  A parent cannot control everything that will happen in their child's life.  BUT,  a parent can help the child control the ways he or she deals with the things he or she cannot control.  And yes, I firmly believe that can happen at a very young age.

So parents, leave the coach alone.  If your kid has a problem with how he or she is being used on the team, then parent them.  Guide them to problem solve.  Support them in dealing with the frustrations and discouragements.  It is part of the game.  It is not a part of the game to tell the coach how to coach his or her team.  It is not part of the game to question what the coach does.  Unless the coach verbally abused on a consistent basis (key words: consistent basis- cause sometime, a little harsh wakeup call is necessary...age appropriate of course) or physically abuses, you the parent have no business saying anything to the coach other than: "Thank-you for committing yourself to my kid".  Be a parent and let the coach do the coaching!

Please click on this link to read a letter to parents from Mike Matheny (former Major League Baseball catcher and current Manager of the St-:Louis Cardinals) when he was the coach of a little league team

http://www.mac-n-seitz.com/teams/mike-matheny-letter.html?ref=nf&fwcc=1&fwcl=1&fwl